Options
by FreeWrite
Summary: Options? Elizabeth could hear the incredulity in his voice and knew instinctively what the answer would be.


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Title: Options

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Author: FreeWrite

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Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate: Atlantis nor anything affiliated with it. I am poor, in debt. I promise not to make any money from any recognisable characters but if you really want something you can have the debt.

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Summary: "Options?" Elizabeth could hear the incredulity in his voice and knew instinctively what the answer would be.

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Warning: Yes the rating is high this story deals with the issues of abortion and some people may not like that. I accept that and if you don't like it please don't read. I have no issue with people not reading my work.

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Time Lines: Three months after The Siege II', I haven't seen The Siege III' yet so I'm going off spoilers.

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Authors note: I don't write Scottish, I can speak and understand it, but I simply can't be bothered writing it. Also there is no Shipperage, I guess you could say I'm a bit of a ShWeir shipper but I don't write shipper stories.

She was 18 the first time it happened.

Her parents had gone away for the weekend and she was meant to be studying with her boyfriend but they had gotten distracted by each other.

6 weeks later she sat in a doctor's office on the other side of town, one she had never been to before, and was told she was pregnant. He told her what options she had but she had already decided what she was going to do.

She booked herself in for a termination the same day; she was still in high school and had already been accepted into the best college on the state. She had nothing to offer a baby and didn't want to give up her chance of making a difference. She broke up with her boyfriend the day after and never told her parents about it. They didn't even know she had been having sex.

She was 26 the second time it happened.

She had finished her degree and her masters and was working on her Doctorate. She was technically single, but by no means celibate. This time she told the father that she was pregnant, they both knew that the relationship they had was merely sex and nothing resembling serious. He told her it was her choice.

She terminated a second pregnancy two weeks later, didn't break it off with the guy but was more cautious with birth control.

She was 36 the third time it happened.

It had been a stressful time, physically and emotionally exhausting for the entire Atlantis expedition, she didn't even realise that she hadn't had her period in a while. The Wraith had been and gone, thinking Atlantis destroyed, contact of sorts had been re-established with earth and she had lost more people than she had ever expected.

Now she sat in the infirmary with Carson Beckett, her head in her hands as he confirmed that she was once again pregnant.

This time there was no boyfriend or lover to think about, no parents to worry about just the memory of the one time she had had sex whilst being in the Pegasus galaxy. She had felt dirty, like a prostitute for weeks afterwards.

After all she had sold her body.

Two of the things Elizabeth Weir had thought she would never do. Have sex for a reason other than pleasure and condone the use of nuclear weapons.

She had done both that night three months before and hated herself for it.

She didn't look at the doctor, she couldn't and so she made an a elaborate study of the combat boots she had been wearing since the day she stepped off earth and through the Stargate.

"What options do I have?"

Carson took a deep breath, he knew her medical history that she had been pregnant in the past but had never given birth. He didn't know the particulars, she had never offered them and he didn't ask.

"Options?"

Elizabeth could hear the incredulity in his voice and knew instinctively what the answer would be.

"Your 12 weeks along, and the Daedelus won't be back for another 5 weeks and is due to be here for a further two, by the time you got to earth you'd be to far along to safely abort. We can't do one here, we simply don't have the proper equipment for one and even if you asked me to I couldn't do it for you. And where would you find someone you would be willing to adopt the baby out to?"

This time she did actually look up, she looked directly at him for a few moments before shifting her gaze to a spot on the wall just over his left shoulder.

For the fist time she noticed that the wall wasn't a solid sheet of material but thousands of small interlocking pieces.

One of them just near Carson's ear was missing.

"You haven't asked who the father is" She saw his eyes widen in shock slightly at statement.

"It's not my"

"Place?" She interrupted him with a slight quirk of her eyebrows. "But you are curious"

He nodded and waited for her to continue.

"I don't"

She stopped for a moment and swallowed audibly. Blinking back the tears that were threatening to spill over.

"I never wanted children, I never had the time or the inclination, and never felt particularly maternal when around them. In fact I tend to avoid them wherever possible. I'm not in any position to be a mother, I'm mean we're in a galaxy millions of light years from Earth we just managed to repel an attack by possibly the worst enemy we've ever come up against. I slept with a man in order to get nuclear weapons in which to defend our selves from afore mentioned enemy and am now pregnant." Her voice rose in pitch and volume as she kept speaking, towards the end of her impromptu speech Elizabeth stood and started pacing along the breadth of the office. Stopping dead in front of the far right wall she lifted both hands and planted them against the wall. Taking several deep breaths in an attempt to calm down before turning back to face Carson the tears now streaming down her cheeks un-abated.

"What am I supposed to do?"

Carson just looked at her maintaining eye contact for as long as she would be willing. He stood slowly as she sagged back against the wall, he tried to get to her as her knees gave out and she slid down onto the cold hard floor and covered her face with her hands trying to will the tears away but without succeeding. Carson joined her on the floor as the first sob erupted. Reaching over he placed an arm around her shoulders and drew her towards him just holding her as she cried.

Two hours later Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard wandered into the infirmary looking for Carson, for the first time in recent memory the infirmary was silent.

"Huh"

Looking around intently he noticed a soft light glowing from under the closed door of Carson's office. Wandering over to the door he rapped lightly on the frame and without waiting for a reply opened the door to reveal Carson sitting behind the desk working on his laptop. Opening his mouth John immediately closed it again when the doctor raised a finger to his lips in the universal signal for shush and then pointed to the cot that he had started keeping there for during medical emergencies.

Turning his head John raised his eyebrows in surprise and curiosity to see the expedition leader Elizabeth Weir lying there asleep. Squinting his eyes he focussed on her face, over the last weeks John had noticed as the fatigue etched deeper and deeper into her face. The circles under he eyes had become larger and darker, and she had lost weight. John was worried, he wasn't the only one earlier that day both Dr McKay and Teyla had approached him independently of each other and expressed their concern for their friend and leader. He had planned on talking to them both at dinner tonight but the sight of her lying there looking so small and frail he knew it would have to be sooner.

Carson grasping his elbow and guiding him towards the door startled John out of his reverie. As they exited the office Carson pulled the door behind him so that it was only open a crack, just enough so that he could hear if any noise emanated from the woman lying asleep inside.

John looked at his friend and saw the worry etched into his face.

"She ok?"

Carson took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, he knew that he couldn't tell John anything that would infringe on Doctor Patient confidentiality.

"Not really no" Carson looked over his shoulder towards the door, as though he were a child scared that he was going to get caught with his hand in the cookie jar "just promise me one thing John." The Colonel nodded his assent "Just be her friend and don't question the decisions she makes" they were both silent as John thought over what Carson had told him, hundreds of possible scenarios and problems running through his head. All of them scaring him a little more than the last.

Finally he nodded.

Before either of them had a chance to either say or do anything else the sound of Carson's door opening caused them to both turn to see Elizabeth Weir standing there. She looked them both, trying to work out what they had been talking about when Carson shook his head slightly. She let out a small sigh of relief when she realised that the Doctor hadn't told John anything.

"I'm going to have a shower and get some sleep in my own bed"

Without another word Elizabeth walked past the two men and out of the infirmary doors, leaving the both of them to stare after her in the otherwise empty room.

The next day Rodney McKay made his way up to the command room looking for Elizabeth. Despite what people thought about him, he noticed more about what was going on around him than people thought. He simply chose not to act on it, he wasn't the biggest people person in the galaxy and felt all the touchy feeley stuff' was best left to the professionals. However, it didn't mean that he didn't care, in fact he cared more about the people here in Atlantis than he had ever cared about a group of people in his life. That was why he had agreed to take on this mission from Major Sheppard.

Sticking his head inside her office Rodney quickly scanned the room but couldn't find any sign of their Commander, frowning to himself he stepped inside and looked around once more before he caught a slight movement out on the balcony. Making his way around her desk he let out a sigh of relief as he found Elizabeth sitting on the ground her legs dangling over the edge arms and chin resting on the safety bar.

She was sitting there just staring out over the ocean, her face devoid of any expression but Rodney could see the tell tale stains of a recent bout of crying. Raising his hand to his ear Rodney activated his communicator.

"McKay to Sheppard"

Sheppards reply was immediate

"Sheppard here"

"She's on her balcony."

"Thanks Rodney, Sheppard out"

Rodney slowly walked over to the balcony and opened the door, he didn't bother to try and be quiet, he knew he was abysmally poor at it anyway. He didn't say anything but lowered himself down to sit beside her. The two of them sat in silence for the next few minutes until John, Teyla and Ford joined them.

John took his place on the other side of Elizabeth, nudging her slightly with his elbow grinning as she turned to look at him and she graced him with a watery smile. The five of them sat there in the early morning sun none of them wanting to be the first person to have to say anything.

Sick of the silence Elizabeth finally spoke up.

"I'm Pregnant"

The others remained silent unsure as to wether they were expected to say anything. Elizabeth didn't look at any of them but kept her eyes solidly on the horizon, so was startled when Rodney's hand wrapped around hers and John slung an arm around her shoulders drawing her into a light hug.

They still didn't say anything but Elizabeth knew that it was going to be all right.

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2 years later

Elizabeth Weir was sitting in her office trying to get through the back log of reports to be sent back to Earth the next day on the Daedelus when a childish squeal penetrated her thoughts. Pushing back from her desk she rose and walked out into the command centre, leaning against the railing her face broke into a smile as she saw John and Teyla running through the gate room chasing her dark haired daughter. She watched as the wide-eyed new recruits shook their heads in shock at the antics of the Military commander and a member of his team.

Elizabeth often wondered at her decision to stay here on Atlantis after finding out she was pregnant. Many of the other expedition members had thought that she would go back to Earth for good, but Atlantis was her home now. Still to this day she knew there were many rumours floating around as to who Alexa's father was, but she had neither confirmed nor denied any of them. Carson was originally the only one who knew the truth and General O'Neill had worked it out for himself, she planned on keeping it that way. Some thought that she had gone back to her ex, Simon on that first trip back to earth, many said she and John or she and Rodney (some days it was both of them at the same time) had been going hot and heavy since getting to Atlantis. It seemed that on any given day she was paired off with another man, even Peter Grodin. Her silence on the subject and given the fact that the man had died only seemed to give credence to that particular rumour, but none of them had realised the truth, no one had even been close.

There had been contact with the Genii since that night, but for some reason neither Elizabeth or Kolya had been involved at the same time, in fact not one Atlantian had seen him during their dealing's with the Genii and Elizabeth was grateful for it.

Pushing off from the pole she had been leaning against Elizabeth made her way down the stairs without gaining the notice of Alexa John or Teyla. Standing there she waited until the little girl toddled within reaching distance before pulling her off her feet and hoisting the toddler onto her hip. Giving the two adults who had skidded to a stop in front of her a stern glare before breaking into a smile as Alexa wrapped her arms around her mothers neck and lying her head on Elizabeth's shoulder.

"John" Elizabeth managed to drag John's name out that way that instantly told him he was in trouble.

"I know, not in the gate room."

Elizabeth smiled again "You have a briefing with the new military personal in a half an hour. Let me know how it goes."

She turned and walked back up the stairs and into her office, setting Alexa down in the small fenced off play area she went back to her work this time to the sound of Alexa babbling to herself in the back ground.

The morning seeped away like so many other mornings, caught up in the never ending administration of running Atlantis and at the same time paying as much attention to her daughter as she could. Elizabeth knew that there was no shortage of baby sitters, not a month ago, rather than disturbing her John had taken Alexa into a briefing with General O'Neill and Colonel Carter. She enjoyed this time where it was just the two of them it didn't happen often enough for Elizabeth's liking. Too many times another member of staff was looking after the girl when Elizabeth had to take care of official business.

Midday rolled around and Elizabeth jumped slightly when there was a knock at the door. Looking up she saw Rodney McKay standing there as he did most days when he was in Atlantis.

"I'm heading to lunch. Do you want me to take the Munchkin with me?"

Glancing down at her watch and then over at Alexa, Elizabeth grimaced slightly. She knew she could take Rodney up on his offer and work through lunch but she figured that she could always take the extra work to her quarters with her that night and work of them when Alexa was asleep.

"Nope, but if you don't mind both of us accompanying you we'll join you anyway."

Tilting his head slightly to the side Rodney shook his head slightly and grinned. "I'm meeting with Teyla and Ronan anyway, so one more shouldn't break the table"

Pushing back from the desk Elizabeth walked over to the playpen and pulled Alexa out, setting the child on her feet to toddle over to Rodney.

The two of them chatted about the going on's of the city as Alexa ran in front or behind or to the side of them expending the energy she had built up since the game of chasing in the Gate room earlier in the morning. The threesome reached the mess hall to see Teyla, Ronan and John already at their usual table Alexa's high chair waiting at the end. Crouching down next to her daughter Elizabeth pointed out the table and watched as the girl gave a little squeal when she saw them waiting and ran as fast as her little legs would carry her. Elizabeth watched until she reached the table before going to get their lunch.

Eventually they were joined by Carson, and the group sat eating in easy camaraderie, discussing up coming missions, how they thought the new people from Earth would fit in and deal with life at Atlantis and the talent show John was insisting on organising.

"Did you make a decision yet Dr Weir?"

Elizabeth looked over at Ronan who had poised the question to her, and thought back to her private briefing with General O'Neill

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"Do I need to start looking for your replacement?"

Elizabeth looked at him puzzled "Why would you need to replace me?"

Sighing Jack rubbed a hand over his face knowing there was no way to put this diplomatically.

"I know it's a few years away but the Joint Chiefs want to know if your planning on going back to Earth when its time for Alexa to start school"

Elizabeth was slightly taken aback, she hadn't even thought about it, Alexa was just under 18 months old.

"We know that running Atlantis is a tough job and we can't just stick anyone here. We just want plenty of notice if we have to find a replacement. We'd want to get them here and learning how things work as soon as possible." He watched as a series of emotions ran over her face.

"Just think about it and let us know"

Of course she had told those sitting at the table, and she appreciated the fact that they hadn't tried to overtly influence her decision one way or the other.

"I've included it in my report to the Joint Chiefs." Seeing that they really wanted to know what it was, Elizabeth decided not to keep them in suspense much longer although she did take her time cleaning Alexa's hands a face before standing and pulling the girl up onto her hip.

"She's going to get a better education here, than any school on earth could offer her. Plus this is home, it's where our family is"

Smiling Elizabeth turned a walked towards the door of the mess hall talking to Alexa as she went.

"Silly people, why would we go all the way to another Galaxy, when everything and everyone we need is sitting right here!"

John turned to Rodney and Carson with a huge grin on his face.

"Pay up, I told she wasn't gonna go anywhere"

End

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